Meenah writes ✍️
Toyin took us to her pastor at Felele, an outskirt of the town. Good morning sir, this is Nneka and her husband, the one I spoke to you about. We greeted the pastor at the same time. He was an elderly man in his 60s but he was still full of life. He greeted us and asked us to narrate our challenges. I took the stage because my husband is an extrovert and he hardly give details. While I was talking the pastor kept shaking his head in pity
After all my stories, he said the next thing was confession of our sins. I knew we were going to have problem with that because I doubt if my husband would want the old man to hear what we did with Prophet Ade. I raised my head and starred at my husband and he turned his face away, then I got the signal. The old man was patiently waiting for us to confess our sins. I was the one who broke the silence, sir we are all liars, we keep malice sometimes, we skip our tithe most times and other sins we do daily unconsciously. The man sighed loudly and began to speak in tongues.
I was not wayward but I knew I have committed an abortion before and I have never told my husband about it. Not even Toyin knew anything about the abortion. It was a secret I had kept for a long time.
Could that be the source of our childlessness baba wants us to confess? But how can God block my womb for just one abortion yet I have seen many who lived a dirty lives with several abortions who have good marriage and wonderful children today. This can’t be the reason, I waved the thoughts away. Baba insisted he won’t pray for us if we don’t confess the main sin that had rendered us childless. I excused my husband, is there anything you know that we need to confess? Nothing more than what I have told you before, he replied.
We went back to baba, sir we have thought and flashed back but can’t remember anything we did that we have not confessed. He didn’t argue with us but refused to pray for us, not even a word of prayer. As we drove back home my husband did not utter a word as he drove. I turned from the front seat and looked at Toyin, I thought you said your pastor is powerful and he could help us? Yes, she replied. He had helped many other people and the testimonies are everywhere.
Deaconess Adeola waited for fifteen years before she met with papa and today she has been blessed with two boys. Dr Ogun and his wife had no child when they joined our church five years ago but today they have a son. I believe your case won’t be different. The same God who did for Deaconess Adeola and
Dr Ogun will do it for you. She encouraged us.
When we got home that night we barely talked to each other over the issue. I didn’t want Kassim to ask me if I have something I haven’t confessed. I have told him everything about my paste except for the abortion. I really don’t want him to know about the abortion because his reaction may be devastating.
Kassim is a very jealous man who cannot withstand knowing his wife was ever impregnated by someone he knew. I have confessed to God and he has forgiven me, I can’t open the old wound again. God is merciful and he will not let my sins of many years to be remembered.
Kassim’s silence and indifference over what Toyin’s pastor told us worried me a lot but “he that comes to equity must come with clean hands”. I can’t accuse him when I myself is guilty. For one week, none of us said anything about it. Should I go back to baba behind my husband to confess my abortion? What if he insisted I must do the confession before my husband? I can’t stay another year without having my own baby. I need to carry my own child soon. I will summon courage today and talk to Kassim over what baba said. Maybe he has something he’s hiding, he too must confess it.
Days became weeks and weeks became months, no one talked about what baba told us. We resumed
our normal life until Ope came visiting.
Ope is the younger sister of Kassim who came to seek for admission into Kogi State University, Ayangba.
Ope had made several attempts to secure admission into University of Ilorin but was unsuccessful. Toyin’s father was a senior lecturer in KSU and he had helped many of our friends relations to get admission. Kassim advised Ope to come down to Lokoja so we can help her speak to Toyin to speak to her father.
Ope’s visit was the beginning of revelations to the abomination that caged my marriage for over ten years. Ope’s parent must have released her to us with the mindset that Kassim is now born again and
may have overcome his unspeakable weakness. The first two weeks of Ope’s stay was blissful. At least I got someone we could gist together and play games together. Ope was lovely and friendly but very hostile to her brother. Her hostility toward Kassim was my first worry but I couldn’t approach any of them to explain the reason behind the hostility.
I was coming back from work one day and I overheard Ope shouting, “Brother, so you have not stopped this evil”?. I should have stayed back a bit to hear which evil Ope was referring to but they both
pretended and composed themselves when I barged in on them. I managed to ask ” what’s going on here?” But non of them responded, so I decided to let it go, after all they are brother and sister and they can sort themselves out.
I left them in the sitting room and headed to the bedroom. In the night, I tried
asking Kassim what they were talking about that warranted that statement I heard from Ope but he waved it off with a romantic kiss that made me forget to ask further Ope’s admission didn’t click on time and I thought that must be the reason for her recent emotional
changes. She became so moody and isolated this time unlike when she came newly. I really understood
because I have been there before and I knew how it felt. I left her alone after much attempt to make her
Ope began to lock herself up even when we were around. She will hardly come out for dinner or do her regular chores. I told Kassim to let us buy Kogi State Polytechnic form for Ope instead of her
missing this year again but he refused. But can’t you see she’s losing her mind over this admission stuff?
I argued. There is still one admission list that will be coming out next week, I believe her name will be there, Kassim was optimistic.
The life brought into my home by Ope became a shadow suddenly. I returned to my loneliness as usual
because my husband is not the talking type. We can be together in the house for several hours and he
won’t say anything. Most times, he only talks when I initiate it. His answers to my questions are always
in words and phrase, “yes”, “no”, “okay”, “alright”, “I will”, “Go ahead” etc. I can be so irritated
sometimes hence I spent more time with Toyin.
Why did Ope suddenly become moody?
Was it just because she couldn’t get admission or there is more to it?
The event that broke the Carmel’s back is in episode four…..
To Be Continued…. . . .